THE REBOOT: A Sentinel Comics TTRPG
The first (and so far only) TTRPG live-play podcast created by the hosts of The Gorge! In a world where all electronics have ceased to function, superpowered heroes fight against dangerous villains! Join Rio, Ollie, and Pluto, as they travel the America countryside in search of answers!
Cover art: Adam Rebottaro
Intro music: Mathew Mozzoni
THE REBOOT: A Sentinel Comics TTRPG
Issue 19: Coffin Ichor
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this issue, the Worldenders face a battle in the deepest recesses of their minds! And icky gross water.
Cover art: Adam Rebottaro
Intro music: Mathew Mozzoni
Background music: Ian Fisher
Face front, true believers, we're back with the reboot. It's been a long time. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_10After a bit of an extended break, but that's okay. Life happens, it gets in the way. You know, we're all grown-ups here.
SPEAKER_05I had a lot of disparate things happen that kept me from thinking of fun things to put these characters through.
SPEAKER_07Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05And then I was like, oh yeah, I have to come up with ideas.
SPEAKER_10Uh, you know, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I'm excited to be back uh after a bit of a break because I love the reboot.
SPEAKER_05Look, regular comics come out monthly.
SPEAKER_10Technically, the nature of the Patreon, since this is first and foremost a Patreon show that then goes up later, is that you are guaranteed one episode a month. Yeah, the fact that we typically put out two is just a bonus because we like the game so much. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03You should be on your hands and knees begging us for more.
SPEAKER_05The average monthly comic that I buy costs six dollars a month. You get at least two a month for three dollars.
SPEAKER_03And instead of looking at art that you might not like, you can imagine the events in the theater of your mind where everything is beautiful.
SPEAKER_05The the artist of this comic is your favorite comic artist.
SPEAKER_10Wow.
SPEAKER_05If you want to imagine that Dan Mora is drawing every one of these pages, you can do that.
SPEAKER_10Why is everybody Why are you layering directly at me?
SPEAKER_03If he thought that I had literally any opinions about Western comic art offering. I mean, there is no fertile ground here for him to riff off of.
SPEAKER_05Sarah, if you're gonna have a favorite comic artist, Dan Moore is a really good pick, objectively.
SPEAKER_10It's objectively a really good choice. I have yet to be let down.
SPEAKER_05Look, I'm thinking, I'm thinking way more of his Transformers art for Skybound than I am for Batman.
SPEAKER_10I'm really sad. No, we can't do this. I'm sorry. No.
SPEAKER_05We'll talk about comics in a few days in the regular podcast.
SPEAKER_10Otherwise, this is gonna turn into Sarah talks about comics some more. Um, we're not doing it. Please look forward to the regular episode of The Gorge where I talk about comics. Yeah. Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh so uh, in case you've forgotten what happened, because again, there is there is no recap page, it's just completely black.
SPEAKER_10Right.
SPEAKER_05Uh that just says the recap page, and then there's no text on it.
SPEAKER_06Um so what happened last time is you guys got to the fair.
SPEAKER_05You went to the fair!
SPEAKER_10Yay! We got to go to the carnival.
SPEAKER_05You had some fun at the Cirque de Fantôme. You uh got to experience uh the uh a an unhaunted house. Uh you got your fortunes read. Uh Pluto won a strongman competition.
SPEAKER_03Um, was the creature that we got?
SPEAKER_02Oh god.
SPEAKER_03Because Juno Juno wanted something. Rio wanted something. I'm sorry, I uh here my my bad behind the scenes is that I have uh before this I have cracked open into a uh pre-made uh espresso martini, and I've already begun to sip on it.
SPEAKER_05I can't I you did get some kind of giant hideous creature that you won for Rio, but I can't remember what creature it was now.
SPEAKER_02No, I forgot to write it down.
SPEAKER_05I did not I did not record that in my notes.
SPEAKER_03When it reappears, it will just be a nebulously you know what? It's uh we're uh we're all playing FF14. It can be uh that one from set the end of 7.4 and also part of 7.5.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, exactly. Our big goofy looking boy, don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_03Uh it could be a kind of depressed-looking squirrel.
SPEAKER_05You uh it's just it's just Ted from from the show Ted.
SPEAKER_10The teddy bear, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, just a giant teddy bear voice by Seth McFarlane.
SPEAKER_10No, please no.
SPEAKER_03Um Rio, why didn't you want this? And Rio's just like, I don't know. It just seems like something the writer's room decided I should have.
SPEAKER_05Rio's like, I used to really like Family Guy.
SPEAKER_10Inexplicable Ted crossover in my fucking comic book right now. Don't know how I feel about that.
SPEAKER_05Uh that's one of the ad pages that's in the uh trade issue.
SPEAKER_10Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_05Uh no, you you rode a Ferris wheel as well. Uh you had somewhat of a of a uh romantic-ish uh situation.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure it could have been anything.
SPEAKER_05Uh you had you had a lot of panels that will uh be clipped and posted on Blue Sky uh by a lot of fans of the two of you.
SPEAKER_10That's correct.
SPEAKER_05Um and then you were taken uh to the manor of one Madame Morand, you uh where she asked you um about what you're doing here and uh especially wanted to know about the man who was not there.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_05And uh you got a little bit of uh back and forth about that. And uh you are prepped to uh take your trial to uh uh rein uh unite with Picante Slim and Hugo Dangle and find the sword of the one true Hobo King.
SPEAKER_10You know? We're ready.
SPEAKER_05When you put it like that.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, it's fine.
SPEAKER_05Um Okay, so let's pick up where we left off then.
SPEAKER_07Yes, please.
SPEAKER_05So sh Madame Mirand is is about to lead the three of you uh out of the back door of the manor, uh, where you'll be taking the path to uh where the trial is, and uh she puts her hand on the back door and pauses and then turns around and says, You came with two users, no?
SPEAKER_06Would you like them to accompany you?
SPEAKER_10Oh god, I think we lost them at the carnival.
SPEAKER_03Pluto's just kind of deep in thought, and it's like you get a panel that's like cutting to like Pluto's like thought bubble, and it's like a poorly drawn Arthur looking like jealous of the Hobo King sword, and then a like weirdly uh unkind looking uh page turner who's scheming to steal it from its rightful owner. And Pluto's just like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_10Uh I think I love to think it hard cuts to um one Arthur trapped on the Ferris wheel, which has now stopped, and he's at the very top of it, just hanging out, waiting to get down, right? And Paige Turner is so lost in taking notes that uh she has completely and totally forgotten about us, right? Like a hundred percent has given up on us. She's she's too excited to do her own thing, you know? Um and I think Ryo just kind of laughs a little and is like, uh, I don't think we can find them, so I think it's just the three of us, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Alright, very well. Uh just wanted to make sure that they would uh they were not going to miss you.
SPEAKER_05Uh she uh she points to the to the goons that dragged you over, uh, and she says, uh, uh if you see the two of them walking around the fair, please let them know that their friends have been taking uh the trial. And they go, You got it, boss.
SPEAKER_10Of course, three like clumsy, fat-handed, like ham-handed faloes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We get a panel later, so like, hey, your friends are on trial. Or she's like, What? I was like, oh no, I don't know them. I certainly cannot be appreciated many crimes they may have committed.
SPEAKER_10Paige Turner is just like, they're not my friends, it's fine, don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I mean, as long as they found what they were looking for, then that's that's all I'm happy. I'm happy for. Uh okay, so so she uh she opens the door and you le you're let out into this like this uh like back path with like a little garden on one side. There's like a road leading to um uh an old-timey car uh with the like a like a 1920s style like uh automobile.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, like a Model T looking type thing. Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_05Uh the kind of thing that you know like a bunch of a bunch of uh you know thugs and gangsters from the the 20s or 30s would be driving around uh around the streets. Yeah uh the sarcophagus has been loaded into the back of it already. Um and uh the uh the the three goons are going to be driving you uh to where the trial is. Um and uh Madame Morand explains to you that um this trial is something that uh only the living can take.
SPEAKER_06Uh if us spirits of the dead were to go inside, uh it would look like nothing to us. It would be an empty void of pure boringness. It is something that only those with a soul uh can perceive.
SPEAKER_05So I have no advice for you. I know nothing about what goes on uh beyond those doors.
SPEAKER_10Thanks. Very helpful.
SPEAKER_05Uh and she also uh says um by the way, since you are living, uh how exactly did you get here?
SPEAKER_06Bought a ticket.
SPEAKER_02Magic.
SPEAKER_06So some kind of ritual you discovered?
SPEAKER_10Some kind of ritual a friend of well, an acquaintance. One of our acquaintances did for us, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Uh yes. Uh good. Uh when your time here is over and you return to the world of the living, I would uh politely ask you that you uh d destroy that method and do not tell anyone about it.
SPEAKER_05Uh we do not actually want a lot of living people to come here to the afterlife. It is not a place for those with sand still in their hourglass, if it as you were. Uh the dead should be allowed to move on from the living.
SPEAKER_01Fair enough. Makes sense. No, yeah, I get it.
SPEAKER_06Alright then. That's all that's all the advice I have for you. Uh off you go, and good luck, and I hope you succeed in whatever it is you're trying to accomplish.
SPEAKER_05Uh and she uh waves a dismissive hand as uh the three of you climb into the car and it starts to put her off down the dirt road uh leading along the uh the edge. Like I said last time, it's like a the island is kind of crescent-shaped, and you're like up on an elevated hill near the back of it, and you are being led down a a uh wooded path uh deeper into the very, very back of the island.
SPEAKER_10Like the very like the tip of the crescent, essentially.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly. There's a little maximum Pluto's like, what exactly is it?
SPEAKER_10Are we trying to call right, Picante, Picante? Picante Slim, Hobo Sword, remember.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_10Uh Ryo looking back in the and through the back window at the sarcophagus loaded up in the in the old-fashioned truck bed, just kind of staring at it nervously.
SPEAKER_05Yep, it's still got uh still got those uh golden cracks running through it. Uh it's not moving at all. Um, you know, any more than the bumpy road and the very poor shock absorbers on this old timey car uh allow it to not move.
SPEAKER_10Right.
SPEAKER_05Uh it does it's not moving of its own volition.
SPEAKER_10Sure, it's rattling every time we hit a bump. Normal style.
SPEAKER_05Um yeah, so you're you're just driving along. Uh you're kind of all crammed in the backseat while the goons are up in front.
SPEAKER_10They're all crammed up front. There's three goons on these like bench, like bench seating old-fashioned car, just shoulder to shoulder, like a fucking clown car.
SPEAKER_03It becomes very obvious uh to the reader in this moment that the goons are modeled off of the uh the the fucking midnight club from from MS Paint Adventures.
SPEAKER_05Boxcar, yeah, uh fucking uh spade slick.
SPEAKER_10Great.
SPEAKER_05Uh yeah, you you guys are you guys are are bounding along, you know. Every every slight elevation sends the car like 45 degree tilt. Uh and he's like, hope uh the leader is like, hope you don't y'all get caustic back there.
SPEAKER_10No, just trundling along. Trust me, coach is a is nearly as rough of a ride. Sorry, Ollie.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, done taken. Coach has always been a rough one.
SPEAKER_05Um yeah, so they eventually they lead you over to uh the path kind of comes to an end at the entrance to a cave. Um uh cave carved into like the uh a mountain along the back of the of the island. Um and the leader gets out and he pushes his goons out as well. Uh and he says, Alright, we're here. You two use three are gonna take that there coffin, and yours gonna drag it in where with you, okay? You're kind of doing a bit of a delivery service here.
SPEAKER_03Oh okay. Uh Plug is just going to pick it up. Uh give me give me an overcome to see if you can actually effortlessly pick it up. So, uh, would you call this a mundane act of great strength? Uh, yes. Uh I do not need to roll.
SPEAKER_02Oh, great!
SPEAKER_03During roleplay, you are very strong, so you must be careful not to crush delicate things. You do not need to roll to perform mundane acts of great strength.
SPEAKER_05Awesome. Oh, but uh what was that about uh mundane or uh about uh delicate things?
SPEAKER_03You must be careful not to crush delicate things.
unknownHmm.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean I would say lifting it up doesn't mean like you're you're not at risk of just breaking the cough uh the sarcophagus with your hands.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_05Um okay, yeah. So you just uh like like one-handed hoist it up.
SPEAKER_03Uh I'll be polite. We'll say it's two hands. They could probably do it one hand, but they don't want to drop it.
SPEAKER_10Pluto's handling it with care. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_05Actually, actually, I want to I want to know how exactly Pluto is carrying it.
SPEAKER_03I honestly, my mental image right now is just kind of like straight upward, like they're a paper Mario character.
SPEAKER_05Like Mario Brothers 2 carrying a vegetable.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, just literally holding it directly over their head.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. That's immediately what I pictured too. I was thinking in a similar vein. Um, the Mario 64 holding a penguin in front of you. Yep.
SPEAKER_05Um Okay, yeah. Uh the goons are just like are are like flabbergasted and yeah, the goons probably had to bust their ass to get that thing loaded onto the back of the truck.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, feeling like a little bit like like emasculated because like when you get a flashback panel to them, like the three of them like struggling harder than anyone has ever struggled to get this thing the few feet off the ground and into the truck bed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Like, alright, maybe if one of us lays down and we put it on his back and he can pop himself up like a jack, M Lane Work.
SPEAKER_03Boss, I just got three more cardjacks. I think we can do this.
SPEAKER_01Um Right Hughes wise, guys, pivot.
SPEAKER_10And Pluto's just hoisting it over their head, and Rio's just like, ooh, like little hand clap.
SPEAKER_03There's an extended sequence of them earlier, like shimmying it like one of those Maui Island heads.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Just just walking it very slowly. There's like there's like dents in the pavement. Yeah. All along like the path from like the house to the truck bed, like just like where they had to like settle it down and it just sank into the ground.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um okay, yeah, you just you just hoist this thing up and uh the lead guy goes, Oh, well, I guess you three are gonna be okay then. Well, uh good luck in there, whatever, and hope you find what you're looking for. Uh if you survive, then you know, come see us again, and if you don't, well then you'll be stuck here, so no loss on our end.
SPEAKER_10Thanks for the ride.
SPEAKER_05No problem, ma'am, and he tips his hat to you.
SPEAKER_10Sure.
SPEAKER_05Uh the three of them shuffle back into the car and it it and it putters off. Uh a little lighter ride now that it doesn't have like a three-ton sarcophagus in its back.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um, and you are at the entrance of a cave.
SPEAKER_10I mean. Is it very ominous looking, Ben? Describe the the c this entrance to the cave.
SPEAKER_05Uh from the outside, it kind of looks like what you would expect an entrance to a cave to look like. You know, just a whole hole in the wall. Uh, you lose all vision about six inches past the entrance.
SPEAKER_10Cool. Just pitch black black. Great.
SPEAKER_05Ah, advanced darkness.
SPEAKER_10That's right.
SPEAKER_05This it looks it looks like you're about to hit a loading zone.
SPEAKER_10Awesome.
SPEAKER_01Um Rio, you go first.
SPEAKER_05Uh there's you know there's nothing else. There's like there's like, you know, vines and moss on the rocks around it. It's kind of ide idyllic, you know, area. Just that that uh you know yawing darkness inside.
SPEAKER_10Well, Pluto, uh, you get to take up the middle so nothing jumps you while uh carrying a big coffin.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_10And I guess Ollie is gonna take the back while Ryo takes a point, I suppose. Walking ahead, like hand on the side of the cave wall, just like walking very slowly.
SPEAKER_05Uh Rio, give me an overcome roll to not fall.
SPEAKER_10Cool. Uh that's not too bad. We're gonna do uh that's easy. Uh gravity, acrobatics, and status die. That makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_10Uh so that's a six, ten, ten.
SPEAKER_06Uh okay, pretty good roll. Uh no, sorry, sorry.
SPEAKER_10That was the the dice I have to roll out. Okay. My mid- die is a six, so no matter what, we still make it. Yeah, sorry.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Uh yeah, six, you're you're fine.
SPEAKER_02Cool.
SPEAKER_05Uh you you step in and you feel that there's nothing under your foot, and then your foot goes a little lower and you find ground.
SPEAKER_10Great.
SPEAKER_05So there's just a really bad first step.
SPEAKER_10And mind the steps. Don't uh break everything, please.
SPEAKER_03I'll try not to.
SPEAKER_01As Pluto follows behind. Okay. Which one are you talking about?
SPEAKER_08I found it!
SPEAKER_01No, that step.
SPEAKER_05You cannot see anything. Does Rio glow?
SPEAKER_08Yeah, faintly. I mean, very, very faintly.
SPEAKER_05Do it's been said that she's glowing. Yeah. Do the do the uh golden cracks emit light?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, like a teeny tiny bit. I'm not talking not a lot. I mean, you couldn't light a room with it, but it makes her at least a good thing to follow in pitch blackness, right? Like I it's it's not like she's illuminating any cave walls. I think it's just like trying to follow like the like the lit end of a cigarette through the darkness, right?
SPEAKER_05So the thing, the the other thing is that you aren't even illuminating like the ground underneath you. Like it it's not so much that, like, you know, because even if you had like Even if we had like a lit match inside a dark cave, the light would still reflect off of something.
SPEAKER_10Right?
SPEAKER_05You have no idea where the walls are, how high the ceiling is. There is something under your feet, but you can't tell what the material is. Um as you walk down this oppressive darkness, um about like a few minutes before you finally start to see something. And what you arrive into is a subway. You step onto uh like like you feel the ground like an incline as you go down, uh like like uh declining uh going uh lower and lower you don't even know when the transition happens and it goes from just like you know like going down a hill to going down a flight of stairs. Like it just kind of it just kind of shifts into walking down the stairs. And you don't even really notice that like it's like you don't even see like a light in the distance. It just kind of gets bright enough for you to see.
SPEAKER_10It's kind of like an ambient light.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, because there's it's it's it's a subway tunnel, but it's been it's it's deserted, and there's only kind of just like these really low like safety lights illuminating the place. Uh not really a lot of like the you know fluorescent bulbs or anything like that, but just like just enough that you can kind of see where you're going and what you like get an idea of where you are. Um there's you know, there's no trains running, there's no one on the platform, uh, just these tracks, these these low safety lights. Um and the the concrete you can kind of tell is there are cracks like all along like the walls and the ceiling that you can make out with water dripping from the ceiling um and pooling occasionally in different spots on the platform. Um there are, you know, you are on the platform and there are tracks going to your left and to your right. The tunnel on the right has collapsed. And they're the it's just covered in in rubble. There are tree roots that have grown through the cracks and have caused the concrete to expand and collapse that tunnel.
SPEAKER_10Okay. I think there's like a pause, and Ryo kind of laughs a little nervously and just says, you know, a lot more trains in the afterlife than I was expecting.
SPEAKER_03You know? Is this also part of the circus?
SPEAKER_10I think we have gotten very, very far away from the circus at this point.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I wasn't sure if this was like a circus thing. Like the evil, evil concrete tunnel.
SPEAKER_10No, no, this feels a lot, a lot worse, actually. Um I guess there's really only w one way to go but forward. Right?
SPEAKER_03That makes sense to me?
SPEAKER_07Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Uh down the down the uh creepy abandoned subway tunnel we go.
SPEAKER_05Alright. Um you you hop down off the platform onto the tracks, uh, and start walking down the tunnel.
SPEAKER_10Pluto does the same with the sarcophagus hoisted over their head, and it like makes a dent in the ground.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, one of the uh one of like the struts, right? Like the little slats that goes between the rails, just like cracks under their weight. Yeah. I think it's also worth pointing out because Pluto uh doesn't like wear shoes, that as they walk, you just hear like this faint like metal clinking, like they're stomping around in plate mail.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I just imagining like Ryo like you know, jumping off and kind of like floating down gently, and Ollie kind of like, you know, uh putting a hand on the ground and ship, you know, and pushing off to to you know make sure her her descent isn't isn't very high. And then Pluto just kind of walks off with the thing above their head.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. And just yeah, absolutely. Echoes down that that long subway tunnel. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03There's like Monster Hunter, you know, you just have to do that because if you roll, you'll instantly drop the egg and explode.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. There's nothing to absorb the sound, so it's just like echoing.
SPEAKER_10It's the loudest sound you've ever heard, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05Um, okay, yeah, so you you start walking down. Um, like I said, there's there's only kind of like these emergency lights to kind of indicate, you know, where people should go. Um there's water dripping. There's no sound but your footprints, especially Pluto's footprints. Um. Kind of like the occasional like groaning and and grinding of like concrete settling or metal uh you know, settling, adjusting. Um. Very faintly, you maybe hear footsteps in the distance. But it could be anything.
SPEAKER_02Hmm. It could be anything.
SPEAKER_01It could be bear or gorilla, you know, anything. Could be grape gorilla who's on prevention.
SPEAKER_10No! No, we don't want to see grape gorilla down here. Uh it's fine. It's fine.
SPEAKER_03It's a funny story. I was eating some brisket and choked. Well.
SPEAKER_10Now I'm here.
SPEAKER_03I've been trying to find my way to the circus, and yet I got turned around in this evil subway tunnel. In this haunted subway tunnel. I guess I'm haunting it now.
SPEAKER_10Oh no.
SPEAKER_03Don't be telling stories about the purple gorilla who hides in the subway. You have to pay your ticket, or else the gorilla will get you. It's a very effective system.
SPEAKER_01I'm one of the seven high school mysteries of Japan.
SPEAKER_03They call me the rail tracer.
SPEAKER_05Um so yeah, you and you are occasionally, uh, regrettably, stepping in puddles of water as well.
SPEAKER_10Ah, gross. Uh I mean, I guess since it makes sense this is. I mean, okay, this is the afterlife. Nothing has to make logical sense. But this is technically a train tunnel built underneath an island. Yeah. Right? Like it is.
SPEAKER_03That bedrock's gotta be porous.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, there's water running in. That makes sense.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. You should realistically, you should not build a subway tunnel in this bedrock, but it's the afterlife, so you can get away from that.
SPEAKER_05Also, why do you need a subway when you have the the above-ground trains that can take you anywhere? Yeah, exactly. Well, you need to take a subway to go to Goth Heaven.
SPEAKER_01Ah, yes, Gotham. Exactly.
SPEAKER_09True. True.
SPEAKER_01Um.
SPEAKER_05Pluto. Yes. While you're walking along. You're you're just kind of cruising with this coffin up uh above your head. You know, you're just you're just strolling down. Uh it's dark, but whatever. You're not afraid of the dark. Are is Pluto afraid of the dark? I kind of assumed, but. No. Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Pluto does not intrinsically have an understanding of being afraid of most things.
SPEAKER_05Correct.
SPEAKER_01That makes sense.
SPEAKER_05Um but while your friends are, you know, in front and behind you, um. They aren't, actually, because uh instead there are the uh very scared group of people in front of you. Uh, and behind you, uh, in this um in this new sort of uh this new sort of settlement that you are find yourself in. Um behind you are your own people. Um and they are like you, they are of course armed. Um and you are standing between a group of your people and the people that you were uh tasked to uh hunt down. Uh and you see remember that you were standing and watching this group of very scared people. Uh people who have done nothing wrong, as far as they are concerned, and as far as most people would be concerned, uh their only crime is, of course, simply trying to exist in a world that uh has maybe treated them unfairly in some regard. Um and of course you were not holding the coffin anymore. Like I said, you were holding a a gun. Um and they are awaiting your orders. My orders? Yes, what uh you remember, of course, that you were sent here to capture or eliminate them if if the these people, if you uh if they so showed any sign of hostility or or or fought back at all. Um but you remember talking to them and you remember that they were just scared and they were just trying to uh get away.
SPEAKER_03Well, they don't appear hostile or fighting back, so I guess we're holding fire, question mark? Okay.
SPEAKER_05Uh they are very grateful for you uh for not firing on them, but there's still a lot of tension here. Uh your your soldiers are standing awkwardly uh itching for a fight. And the people are the the uh innocents, we we can call them, as you can't remember exactly what what they were called, but that name feels appropriate. They appear to be uh alien in some way. They are not quite human, but they are human? It's unclear where you are right now. You you remember some of these orders, you remember some of these details, but the rest are very vague. And one of your one of your troops says, Well, if we're not gonna fire on them, what are we gonna do when our reinforcements show up?
SPEAKER_03We'll have to explain the situation. And if it comes to it. Our instructions were clear.
SPEAKER_05That's when you hear a voice in your head. Uh it's very difficult to determine where this comes from because you can hear it, but it's it's not being spoken by anyone in this room. And the voice asks you, how can a sword be used for protection?
SPEAKER_03A sword can't protect anything. It can only create the absence of a threat.
SPEAKER_05And is this an acceptable way to keep the peace?
SPEAKER_03I don't think Pluto has an answer to that question.
SPEAKER_05While you are pondering on that, Ryo and uh Ollie have noticed that Pluto has stopped moving entirely. And they are just staring off into the distance.
SPEAKER_02Pluto? Hey, you there?
SPEAKER_10Kind of like walking back over to them a little, you know, confused. Like don't tell me you're afraid of the dark. Come on, it's not that bad.
SPEAKER_05Uh one of one of the people that you are tasked with protecting, or two of the people that you're tasked with you are now tasked you've tasked yourself with protecting, we'll say. Uh resemble two women that you know very well, or you think you know them. Their faces are so familiar. Uh they are trying to ask you something directly, but you're so caught up in trying to respond to this thing that's speaking to you that you can't understand what they're saying. Uh and you hear after enough silence passes where you don't answer its previous question, uh it asks a third question. Uh it accepts your silence as the answer. And therefore says, In that case, are you above the rule of kings?
SPEAKER_03I am the rule of kings. And any who should seek to control me will be controlled in turn.
SPEAKER_05Understood. Pluto, give me an overcome roll to snap back to where you are. Sure.
SPEAKER_03Um. I'm trying to think of what I'm going to roll here. Would we say this is an ability that has some tie to the ghosty sort of nature of powers that we're currently interfacing with, or is this an unrelated thing?
SPEAKER_05This is. This is not. As as Madame Arand told you, this is not a creation of the afterlife.
SPEAKER_03I see.
SPEAKER_05This is a separate kind of spectral energy. I don't think I have a power for this, then. But it might be close enough if you want to try it.
SPEAKER_10What power are you arguing for?
SPEAKER_03I was going to see about the possibility of using nightshade as it is something that is, I would say, like, tied into this sort of like forces from beyond death.
SPEAKER_05So remember, this is a trial to claim a sword of kings. Right. I would say nightshade fits that pretty well.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay. In that case, I would do Nightshade. I'm going to do my quality destroyer prince because I think that is uh suitable. I think that is coherent with the answers that Pluto gave. And I'm going to do status dice, so I'm rolling a 10, an eight, and a 12. Oh, yeah, because you you took it. You're still in red, that's right. Yeah, I I never I never had Pluto recover there, uh gushing ghost juice all over the place. Yeah. Well, that's a five, a seven, and eleven. So my mid is a seven. A seven.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_03Uh you tably, I I I I did make a boost for a plus one. I feel like I would like to do it with completely succeed, but I don't think the boost I wrote applies. What is your what is the boost you wrote? Uh what is this? The circus did you all drive here in the same tiny car?
SPEAKER_04I don't think that applies.
SPEAKER_03That's okay. I'll t I'll take a seven.
SPEAKER_05Okay. So you succeed. Um, Pluto, you are back in the tunnel. Huh. You so the thing is, Pluto, you it's Pluto doesn't necessarily sleep in the same regard that uh Ali and Ryo do, right? Like they they recover, but they don't actually like do they dream at all?
SPEAKER_03I the thing is, I was going to say no, but I do think in fan art I have drawn. I say fan art, like I'm not the fan drawing. I have definitely drawn Pluto dreaming before.
SPEAKER_10Well, Pluto is a bit more human now, so I Yeah, so I feel like maybe they do. Yeah, they they probably do sleep and dream now.
SPEAKER_03It is and also they know what dreams are, I think, because they were like it's part of how they molded themselves. So yeah, I'll say they they know about dreaming.
SPEAKER_05This is this is the exact same feeling as when you wake up from a very vivid dream and that dream sticks with you. Like, you know how there's a lot of like nightmares of people who laugh, it's like, oh, it's scary, and then like it's gone in 15 seconds. Yeah, this is one of those rare times where it's it is gonna stick with you. You being in this kind of like, it was like this, like, it was a barn pointing a gun at innocent people, waiting for with with troops behind you, waiting for your call, whether or not to pull the trigger, and then you declaring that you would potentially fight back against anyone else who might try to harm them. I want you, and then also telling this voice that you cannot be controlled, I want you to take a plus two boost called Indomitable. I will do just that.
SPEAKER_10Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_05Uh your minor twist for s for uh for for that role is that you uh would you do not get the uh uh subsequent hero point for your answers. That's fine. Pluto is a little is a little too shaken by this uh to get that, but they do feel a a sort of strong motivation to uh use that sword, uh their own sword, to uh remove a possible threat in the absence of protection.
SPEAKER_03Pluto, after coming back to our senses, like uh I sorry, I was I was somewhere else for a second. I was kind of like dreaming, although I don't think I actually went to sleep. Was I asleep?
SPEAKER_09I don't think so, unless you were sleepwalking with a sarcophagus over your head.
SPEAKER_03Pluto looks up and is like, and just thinks about it's like, well, I guess if I had to.
SPEAKER_09Please don't.
SPEAKER_05Um very, very lucky that you froze in a way that your balance was not off.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It turns out that that the uh highly impractical overhead coffin lift was in fact a pretty great way to move the coffin for this specific problem. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um So as you continue down, you find that there is more you're you're stepping in more and more water. The tunnel.
SPEAKER_10It's all the ghost goo that Pluto's leaking now.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, the tunnel doesn't seem to be like going like like declining. It seems like there's just more pooling, and it's I mean I'm gonna I'm gonna flat out and say it, it feels gross.
SPEAKER_10Like it doesn't feel like I wouldn't think it would feel good, no.
SPEAKER_05It's kinda it's kinda icky. Um the lights are flickering a little bit more the further you get down. Um you can still kind of see where you're going, uh, and there are actually you can in this case make out where the next platform is because that does have like a few uh flickering or like on the verge of burning out like fluorescently. So you can kind of like get a landmark in that regard. Um so but as you as you pass by that one pass by another platform, uh continuing to walk, uh Ollie, you are walking along the back of the group, uh, and then you see your friends in front of you. Uh you see the train tracks below you, uh, you see the water that you are stepping in, splashing around your your ankles. Um and then you are seeing the uh road ahead of you. Uh and you are standing next to coach. Uh there is uh the town at your back. Um and you're on your way out, and there is there are you have said goodbye to some people, um, and they have said goodbye back, and some have said good riddance. Um it's your home behind you. Uh it's not your home. It looks different, but it is your home. It's it's the place that you grew up. Um, even if it looks a little different now. Uh there is someone with you. Uh, who is not getting in the car with you, but they are standing a lot they are standing there. Um, and they ask if you're sure you want to leave. And who is it that's asking you this, Ollie?
SPEAKER_01By this point, it would probably just be one of. one of Ollie's neighbors. I'm imagining somebody who's really close to her dad.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_05Uh older older older man or uh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like um like an probably like an elderly lady. Um the kind who'd like uh the kind who would ask if Ollie or her brother wanted uh like some cookies if she was baking something. Like really classic old, but like matronly sort of neighbor.
SPEAKER_05Okay. And uh what was her name?
SPEAKER_01Agnes, I think.
SPEAKER_05Agnes. I was I was also thinking Agnes. Yeah. Um she is she is standing there. She was the only one who went this far to see you off. Um everyone else either wished you well, had one final drink with you, or uh they didn't show up at all, or they only showed up to uh give you a dirty look. Um and she you you get into the car and she um you roll down the window and she puts she kind of leans in. And she looks heartbroken. And she says, And there's nothing I can say to change your mind Not at this point.
SPEAKER_01I mean, there's not There's nothing left for me here.
SPEAKER_05Uh she uh rubs her eye to prevent the uh tear from forming. Um and she says, Well, I'm here.
SPEAKER_01Ella just gives kind of like a sad sort of smile and says, Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I know that you've I know that a lot of people are Well, they're not happy but And she sighs and she says, Well, I'm I I have to be honest and say I'm not happy either, but Well, if you if you ever change your mind, if you ever do stumble back here. She laughs a little mirthlessly, and she says, Well, you know where I keep the spare key.
SPEAKER_01Sounds good, Agnes. I I can't promise when, but I think more than anything, I just want to travel. So me coming back is just a matter of when.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_05Well, you stay safe out there, and I hope everything goes well for you. And as she steps away, she uh leans back up, and you roll the window up, you hear a voice speaking to you um from nowhere, but you can hear it clear as day. And that voice says, In seeking the sword, what are you fleeing from?
SPEAKER_01Umly just starts up the car, looks through the rearview mirror, and doesn't give any good answer besides not not home, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_05The voice asks another question, and you hear the voice say, Do you think you are unworthy of this sword?
SPEAKER_01I don't think I deserve this sword any more than any of my friends do. But in seeking this sword, I hope to find answers. And I hope to help somebody else, and that's good enough for me.
SPEAKER_05Rio and Pluto, you would get you for Rio, this is for this is a repeat, but for Pluto now you can see it from the outside, but you see that Rio that Ollie has completely frozen uh and she is just staring ahead blankly.
SPEAKER_03Since she was at the back of the group, I imagine they were like walking for a bit, and they're just like, hold on, where's and then like turn around and she's just standing like a couple dozen paces back.
SPEAKER_10Ollie Not you two, come on. Uh, kind of like again, closing the distance to grab Ollie's wrist, uh, to like kind of try and shake her. And now knowing that something uh weird is happening here, but uh deciding to just press on because what else can you do? Right.
SPEAKER_03Pluto is kinda like approaches a little bit, but is still kind of standing there uh just because they have a giant coffin in both hands, and so there's not really a lot that they can do to help you.
SPEAKER_05Pluto tries like to like balance on one leg and like kick her chin, but like it's not really working.
SPEAKER_10Hold it in one hand like a pizza box.
SPEAKER_05About to wallop her overhead with it like a cartoon. Uh Ollie, you hear voices on the radio. Uh, but you're so lost in thought that you can't make out what they're saying. Uh it's some kind of talk show, and the people the two posts are babbling over each other constantly, but it's just kind of gibberish to you, and you're not really paying attention to anything. Um, but the road is ahead of you, and you are driving along, and you are just lost in these feelings of anxiety and guilt, but you feel like this is the only course of action you can take, and you are going to try to do the best you can with it. Uh go ahead and give me an overcome roll.
SPEAKER_01Sounds good. I think for this one. Because it's thematically appropriate. I'm gonna use momentum insight and then my status die.
SPEAKER_02That's a good one.
SPEAKER_01Ooh, okay. Which means that I'm gonna be rolling uh significantly shittier. Um, because that is a six. So let's see. A six, eight, and an eight give me a one. A one, a six, and an eight. So I rolled a six.
SPEAKER_05Six, okay, that's still eight six with a minor twist. Alright. Um you feel your eyelids getting heavy as you uh try not to fall asleep with the wheel. Um and then as your eyes kind of close, you uh open them again, and you are back in the subway tunnel. Uh gripped with that that twist in your gut of shame and anxiety, of the sudden relief of no longer being in a very tense situation. Um go ahead and uh take a plus two boost that I am going to call doing the right thing. You remember the majority of that incident. You remember talking to an old neighbor. You remember you were leaving. You were in home, and you felt bad.
SPEAKER_01I think I just had one of those I guess you weren't in school. You ever have a uh a dream about a really embarrassing thing that you did? And it wasn't really that bad. But the dream remembers it worse.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I just had one of those, but like while I was walking.
SPEAKER_02Oh god.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you didn't you didn't have the gun dream? The what the gun the gun dream. The dream about the guns. You're having a dream about guns?
SPEAKER_10I think Omni's always dreaming about guns, all things considered.
SPEAKER_03See, that's why that's what I thought. I figured that she would have had uh also had a dream about guns, but I guess not.
SPEAKER_01Just had a moment there. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Well I mean, we really have nowhere else to go but forward.
SPEAKER_01That's true.
SPEAKER_10Hope I can avoid my turn.
SPEAKER_03At least at least if that happens to you, we'll find out really quickly.
SPEAKER_02Hey! Small mercies.
SPEAKER_05You know, little little benefits there. Um It's getting harder to walk. Uh the water is now firmly up to your ankles. Every step you take is making a splash. Um it's like it's your feet are are heavy in this in this water. Uh it's submerging some of the emergency lights, so the lights are getting a little dimmer. There's still some overhead ones that you can use to proceed to see. Um, but like it's getting darker and dingier, and you can tell just by the way that the water is is covering these lights that like it's gross and cloudy and uh maybe a little maybe it's not actually water. It's maybe it's something different, but you don't want to think about that. Uh Pluto. The coffin isn't feeling heavier, but it's getting a little harder to balance almost like something is pulling at it from the back. I think something's trying to move this coffin.
SPEAKER_02Oh, don't say that.
SPEAKER_05You can you can fight it off right now. Like it's not it's not holding you back, but it's just kind of like you just kind of feel yourself leaning backwards a little more than like you think you should.
SPEAKER_03I guess maybe it's more like whatever's in it has decided to move over to the far side as though to spite me.
SPEAKER_10Um do you need help carrying it?
SPEAKER_03No, I'm fine.
SPEAKER_10Okay.
SPEAKER_05Uh you you continue on, you press onward, you pass another platform. And Ryo, you at the front, you can only see the darkness ahead of you. You can see you can make out the dim outline of the of the tracks, of the the stone wall, the concrete walls that are getting more and more cracked as you pass through. Um and it is dark and it is cold and it is wet. And then it is warm and bright. Ah, put out. And safe. Because you're back home.
SPEAKER_10Oh.
SPEAKER_05You're you're at the home you grew up in. It's bigger than you remember. There's more rooms than you remember, but it's it's where you lived. And you remember that everything is done. You finished. You you did what you needed to do. Um. Your mom is there, there are a few other people there that you you recognize, but their faces are not important right now. They're they're just people that you remember that you recognize and you acknowledge. Uh. Everything is as it should be. You accomplished what you set out to do, and you are back, and you are uh effectively retired, and your mom is happy to see you. But there is something at the back of your mind like you're forgetting something. And Diana uh is talking to someone else, and she notices that you're kind of just standing there. Uh, you seem a little lost, and she uh breaks off the conversation and walks up to you and says, Hey, sweetie, you you doing okay?
SPEAKER_10Um yeah, it's just I never thought I would ever come back to this place.
SPEAKER_05Uh, and she she smiles very warmly and she says, I uh I didn't think you would either, and I am so happy that you decided to come back.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's the weird thing. Um I don't know if I would decide to come back.
SPEAKER_05Uh she laughs a little. She says, well, I mean I guess, you know, you don't necessarily have to stay, but it's it's just been so nice having you home. And I know that I know after everything that happened that it was not an easy decision, but I just I'm just glad that we can still have this uh between us.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I mean, I'm glad too.
SPEAKER_02I just I don't think I'm supposed to be here.
SPEAKER_05Uh the smile kind of fades uh from her from her face and she says Do you Do you think there's still I mean we're we're we're done. The mission is over, right?
SPEAKER_09I mean what does being done even mean?
SPEAKER_05I just I I don't want you to think you have to go out and save the day over and over again. You you can be done if you want. No one you don't owe this to anyone.
SPEAKER_10But I mean yeah. I do. Of course I do.
SPEAKER_09What are you saying?
SPEAKER_05Uh, and that's when you hear a voice in your head. Not the voice in Ryo's head, not that familiar chipper voice that you haven't heard for some time now. A different one, a a more serious one, a more neutral one that just asks Will the sword offer you comfort if you obtain it?
SPEAKER_10Swords aren't meant to bring you comfort.
SPEAKER_05And then you hear an it asks another question, and it says, In that case, will you seek your comfort elsewhere?
SPEAKER_10Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna find it here. And I think that's it.
SPEAKER_05Uh you uh Pluto and Ollie are now familiar with the situation. Both of them entirely have seen it from the outside. Uh Ryo has stopped moving.
SPEAKER_03Uh Pluto notices this when uh runs directly into the Torio and does not budge, and uh Pluto just goes, hey Ollie.
SPEAKER_05One of the uh uh Rio, one of the uh guests at your house just kind of bumps into your bag and goes, Oh, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's fine. It's fine.
SPEAKER_03Um you hear a lot of that. Strange strangely though, despite the fact that you watch them walk away, it still kind of feels like you have been you are continuing to be bumped.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Uh I think Ryo kind of like pushes past them and just is like, I'm I mean, I'm sorry, I don't think I need I think I need to go.
SPEAKER_05Uh, go ahead and give me an overcome roll to leave the house.
SPEAKER_10Uh oh boy, I get to finally use this because god, this is the perfect time. Uh, I'm going to use Principle of the Outsider.
SPEAKER_07Ooh.
SPEAKER_10You've been cut off from the world, but there's wisdom when you're outside looking in. You know how to see things others can't. Uh so that will be cosmic, witch of Eden, and status. So six, eight, ten, like always.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_10Uh, and that's a five.
SPEAKER_05And well, since you're using a principle, that's your max die, right?
SPEAKER_10That is also, yeah, that's my max die.
SPEAKER_05Oh, oh bummer. That's still a success. That's still a success. With a minor twist. So you're still good. Um because you are using a principle, and because you are using specifically a principle of the outsider, which means you can see things others can't, you see this dream for what it is.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You see that it is part of the test. More than that, though, you see that this is not a just like an illusion or or some kind of like uh uh trick of the mind. This is a memory. Oh this is something that happened, this this same situation happened to someone else. Your brain is filling in the context with details that you know.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's fun. Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_05So this isn't your memory, but you're filling in for the people that were in that dream with you.
SPEAKER_10Right.
SPEAKER_05People that whoever this is a memory for, their people.
SPEAKER_02Right. That's good.
SPEAKER_05It wasn't your house, it was their house that this happened in. Yeah. Um go ahead and take a plus two boost that we're going to call Determinator.
SPEAKER_03That's my favorite uh best of the worst film entertaining.
SPEAKER_01Knowing that extra bit of context, then I I have a very small edit I'd like to make for how that dream sequence worked. Um didn't see home. Okay. Ooh, okay.
SPEAKER_10And I think uh Ryo actually seeing like the artifice of this dream and still in this like finger quote dream. Wow, the rain is starting perfect timing. Um seeing the artifice of this dream kind of pauses and like looks like beyond the house and beyond all of it, and just says, When are you going to stop leading us on?
SPEAKER_05Uh and you're out.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_05There's there's no there's no soft transition like there was not that you would know about the transition, but like narrative speaking, there's no soft like brush bracket to reality of waking up from a dream. It's just you're you're there.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_05One panel is the is the house, next panel, you're back with the subway.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_05It's just it just collapses. It it collapses in a way, Rio, that you can feel like whatever's doing to this to this to you is laughing. Is is doing like a you caught me, yeah, kind of thing.
SPEAKER_10Sure. Yeah. Um Rio grits her teeth and whips her head back to look at the other two and said, pick up the pace, we're gonna find whoever's doing this.
SPEAKER_03Uh when Rio whips around, her face is directly in Pluto's column.
SPEAKER_05She just she just whips around and smacks into Pluto's chest.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, has to like take a step back and looks up at Pluto and looks furious, by the way. Um, is not pleased to have her memories uh messed with and to be uh sent back home, right? Um so she she looks extremely displeased and says, uh pick up the pace, we're finding whoever's doing this, and then just starts marching through the water, right?
SPEAKER_05Uh you are stomping, splashing, you know, huge splashes with every footstep you take.
SPEAKER_10Can I do something?
SPEAKER_05Yes, go ahead.
SPEAKER_10Can I use a can I do an overcome?
SPEAKER_06Yes, of course.
SPEAKER_10I want to move the water to the side with uh Witch of Eden, Gravity, and Saddus die.
SPEAKER_04Go for it.
SPEAKER_10Thank you. Dang. That's a two. Rio got mad. That's perfect.
SPEAKER_05Perfect. Thank you, Sarah. You can always say you can always succeed with a major twist.
SPEAKER_01I think I think it's funnier that it that it is uh yeah, Sarah.
SPEAKER_05Okay, before I say thank you, Sarah, do you fail or succeed with a major twist?
SPEAKER_10Both are so fun though. How can you make me you're asking me to pick my favorite child?
SPEAKER_03I don't know what major twist is, but the failure, I just imagine her trying to split the water and it just splashes back in her face and is taller than it was before.
SPEAKER_10Uh I'm gonna say succeed with a major twist because I, if given the opportunity, disco Elysium style, to fail uh in a fun way, I will always take it, right?
SPEAKER_05Thank you, Sarah.
SPEAKER_10You're welcome, Ben. Thank you.
SPEAKER_05Rio. Well, actually, Rio Rio, describe how Rio is going to uh Moses this.
SPEAKER_10Uh, yeah. Rio is trying is mad and is trying to trudge through this water, right? Um, and she says, I am so tired of stomping around in this mud, and uh like puts her hands down in the water and they glow with that gold, and everything just it like the gold glow like travels through the water, right? Kind of looks like lightning in water, um, and then it just pulls itself apart, right?
SPEAKER_05Right, okay. So you you put your hands down, you send this, you send this shockwave through it, and the water splits like the Red Sea. It splashes up alongside the walls uh on either side of the tunnel, and it goes like a a pretty good distance. By doing this, you get a better look at what the water actually is, and it is pitch black. And it is thick, it sticks to the walls like a slime. And it doesn't start it doesn't like recede off the walls and like settle back down. It crawls It's it's moving with intent.
SPEAKER_08Okay.
SPEAKER_05And it starts to the path ahead of you is clear. You can start moving, but just know that the the Ikor on the walls is starting to coalesce towards you.
SPEAKER_01Yep, we gotta move. We gotta move.
SPEAKER_10Time to go, time to go.
SPEAKER_01I play Dark Souls, I know this is that. We're going.
SPEAKER_10Time to move very, very fast now.
SPEAKER_03Um Pluto trundles forward at the maximum amount of speed they can, which is a lot faster than you'd expect given they're hoisting a granite coffin over their head.
SPEAKER_05Uh, I want you uh Pluto first. Give me uh an overcome roll to keep your grip on this thing, because you only pushed back the Icor in front of you. Uh the Icor behind the three of you is still right there.
SPEAKER_07Oh no.
SPEAKER_05And it is starting to coalesce, and you see that it reaches up a hand, a giant hand of sorts, and slaps onto the back of the coffin.
SPEAKER_03Uh, I will ask real quick, because it will decide which principle I'm using. Yes. Uh, would you say that the uh strength to overcome this grasping Ikor would be require something that is more than humanly capable or just a high degree of human strength?
SPEAKER_10I would say more than humanly capable.
SPEAKER_05We're gonna say you need to be stronger than Captain America to do this.
SPEAKER_03In that case, uh, I'm going to use Knight in Shining Armor, my Paragon feat. Overcome using strength in a situation that requires you to be more than humanly capable, like an extreme feat of strength for speed. Use your max plus min dice and then boost all nearby allies with your mid.
SPEAKER_06Hell yeah!
SPEAKER_03Uh so, uh, I'm going to use strength, obviously. Um. Would you say this is a close combat or alertness, or neither?
SPEAKER_05You tell me. You are so a a giant slappy hand has just stuck onto the back of the coffin is trying to pull you down.
SPEAKER_03I guess I would I guess I could comfortably call that a close combat. I'm trying to wrestle control this thing away from a hostile force, right?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And my status dice, I'm rolling three twelves. Hell yes!
SPEAKER_05If you if you get a a one to three, I'm gonna laugh so hard.
SPEAKER_03So I well, I use my max plus min. Oh, that's right. Uh so my total is 12 because my max is 10 and my min is two.
SPEAKER_05Great.
SPEAKER_03How do you want to succeed beyond expectations in this? Um, I think it grabs on very tightly to the coffin, and Pluto just like grabbing the coffin from both sides, right? Just wrenches it forward with such force that it like overhead suplexes a giant chunk of the slime ahead of them.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, it like it's like snapping a rubber band, right? Like you pulled it too hard and now like when it pulls back, it like snaps.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like literally it flings it into the wall. It sticks there like a big gob. Awesome. Uh and also uh my mid gets to boost the other two, so if you have to do anything, it's with a plus three.
SPEAKER_02Fuck yes!
SPEAKER_03Because my mid was an eight.
SPEAKER_05So in that case, I'm gonna need I'm going to need Ryo and Ollie to uh overcome two fucking sprint like hell.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that's correct. No, that sounds right. Uh I'm going to use flight, acrobatics, and status die, and I'm going to use that plus three from Pluto. So that will be uh 6, 8, 10 as always. Damn, that's I'm always rolled 6810 earlier. Eight, eight, ten. Oh god, I rolled a two. Thank god for that plus three. That makes it a five. Yeah, okay. Jesus. Thank you, Pluto.
SPEAKER_05Uh Ali, let me know what yours is as well.
SPEAKER_01Uh, we're gonna do so uh agility, uh, acrobatics, and then uh my uh status dice. Three eights. Alright. And I got a five-five and a five.
SPEAKER_06That's still a success with a minor twist?
SPEAKER_01Cool. Plus the three.
SPEAKER_06Oh, plus the three. That's right. That would be an eight then?
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh completely complete success.
SPEAKER_01Cool.
SPEAKER_10So I succeed with a minor twist. And Ollie, total success.
SPEAKER_05Cool. Uh Ollie, you uh you sprint in perfect athletic form. Palms up, you know, arms, uh, elbows locked.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And you just like fucking sprint down the hallway like Forrest Gump.
SPEAKER_10Uh Lancer, Lancer Fate's Day night, holo um Heaven's feel fucking sprint. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Um. Rio, you try to take off. Uh you you try to fly off. Uh you feel the goop grab onto the back of your of your uh skirt and keep you from taking off cleanly.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh you splash down, and I am going to say you uh. No, that's a little too much. Let me uh this will be a minor twist. You face plant and take. Did I not get a D4 out? Where you are. There you are. Uh you take two damage. Uh you try to take off, you leap, and then the thing grabs you, and then you just fucking slam into the concrete.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, and then immediately just scrambles back to her feet uh to just run instead.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it doesn't hold, it doesn't it doesn't keep a latch on you. It's just enough to throw off your balance and and uh bust up your nose a little bit.
SPEAKER_10No, that makes sense. This is all Ryo's fault, so yeah, of course she's the one who eats shit instantly.
SPEAKER_05Uh the three of you are taking off down this. You aren't sure where to go because it's just one way, one way down, but you just know that you have to keep moving because as the uh splattered Icor around you starts to coalesce back down into the ground and it starts, you know, pulling at your heels and whatnot, you just by moving, you are able to at least keep yourselves above ground and not get locked above, you know, above water as it was, and not get uh locked down by this. But it's it's getting higher and higher, and it's getting harder to to move. Um right up until like it's it's getting up past your ankles and like pulling at you like uh like you're standing in like tar.
SPEAKER_07Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05Uh and you hear a voice cry out, over here! Uh you see along the wall, one of the walls on the opposite side where the the platforms are, you see an emergency door.
SPEAKER_07Oh, thank god.
SPEAKER_05An emergency tunnel. It's been propped open with a cinder block, and there is someone with the holding the door open and reaching out their arm. Uh and uh waiting for you to take the roll- they're only a couple yards away, so you were able to clear that easily. Uh Ryo, you grab onto grab onto this person's arm.
SPEAKER_07Yep.
SPEAKER_05And they effortlessly yank you up onto uh like a because it's it's uh the you know the door is on like staircase, so it's a little bit higher, so you're you're above the the Icor now. Uh pulls the three of you in.
SPEAKER_10Including the sarcophagus?
SPEAKER_05Pluto might have to jump. Pluto, yeah, except for Pluto.
SPEAKER_03They pull they pull uh Ryo and Ollie in, but uh Pluto and Pluto's like Pluto's like stand clear and they get out of the way of the door, and then Pluto just like T-bones through it, crushing part of the side of the door frame with the coffin.
SPEAKER_10Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05You you you barrel into this person like that bit and meet the spy where the heavy just barrels through Scout and Bolter. Uh-huh. Um you see two people standing in that doorway as they as they slam the door shut behind them. Uh it's well more it's a lot more illuminated than it was than uh the this tunnel here is now more illuminated than the the subway tunnel was. Uh it's like a maintenance shaft, you know, leading to a different part here, so there's like a walkway, and then there's uh just like, you know, it's it's kind of a it's much narrower, but it's just like a nice walkway uh towards a different part of the subway tunnel. Um there's two people here that uh that the comic identifies clearly as Picante Slim and Hugo Dangle.
SPEAKER_10Great!
SPEAKER_05And I want to ask the three of you a question.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because something that happened between those two years was that you may have had an encounter with Picante Slim.
SPEAKER_03Pluto literally chimes in, it's like, wow, I haven't seen you since the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I was- I was going to ask, do you recognize this person? I I feel like we do, but also to make it funnier, it's impossible to mistake him for anybody else because okay, in my head, Tobacco Slim wears like a metal pot over his head, like Johnny Appleseed style. Um has a very distinct, like old man, like old man hobo face. Yeah, of course. His son looks exactly the same, but there's no white in his hair, and the pot is instead a boo like Vermin Supreme. Yes.
SPEAKER_03See, my thinking is, and this is my personal damage, I don't really know how to describe it, he looks like if you made a fake go version of Edgar Allan Poe.
SPEAKER_10I'm gonna say slim. I'm gonna say that the whole reason this has been an argument for the last two years is because Ryo didn't see him when he saved them. So she has no idea who this guy is. Okay. Like she did not get to see him when they were trapped inside the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota. Um so that is why she does not think that they were saved by a Picante Slim. And thus, looking at Picante Slim, she says, Who the hell are you?
SPEAKER_05Uh he uh he tips his boot to you, Corio. And he says, Well, I guess it has been a long time. Uh it's been a while since we've seen each other face to face, and you and I never actually met, but uh the two of you I do remember. And he says, uh, Hugo, these are my friends. Friends? This is my best friend, Hugo Dangle. And Hugo is an older man with a mustache, uh, he's got graying hair. Uh he looks kind of sidekick-esque. I imagine Picante, unlike Tobacco, who is, you know, an older fellow. Um I imagine Picante does have a bit more of a heroic uh aspect to his to his uh appearance. Uh you know, more traditional hero type vibe. And Hugo does look very sidekick-esque.
SPEAKER_03Um I I feel like we have reinvented Don Quixote and Sancho De Panza from first principles, but that's not inaccurate. Don Quixote is a young man, though, and Sancho De Panza has taken all of his age.
SPEAKER_05Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh like if like if Bruce Wayne were Don Quixote and Alfred were were Sancho.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05Spectacular. Yeah. Loving this mental image. Um I am the boot.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh he uh uh Picante says to him, sir.
SPEAKER_10Picante says uh what flavor is it?
SPEAKER_05Uh Picante says uh I'll be damned. I did not expect to see the three of you here of all places.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you know, we we we tend we No, Plus says this you we seem to meet in the strangest of places.
SPEAKER_10We get around.
SPEAKER_05I reckon this place is just about as strange as that giant ball of twine. I told you.
unknownI told you.
SPEAKER_08Well, I didn't see him, I didn't know.
SPEAKER_05What would compel a man to make such a ball?
SPEAKER_03Where I I I wish I had gotten the chance to ask him, but as you you remember what happened with him, of course. Yes, yes, of course. Trapped within his own ball of toilet. What a miserable way to go.
SPEAKER_05He he takes he takes the boot and puts it over his heart. Yay! That poor lost soul.
SPEAKER_03Pluto does the same with their hand for a second, and then you see the casket clearly does not like uh being held with one hand, and then Pluto quickly returns their hand to continue holding it upward.
SPEAKER_05And now what exactly do you have there?
SPEAKER_10I don't know. Big coffin, it's supposed to be part of some trial. This place is weird.
SPEAKER_05You see, you see Hugo go, uh, yes. So you were also attacked by the slime. I'm assuming the three of you had some manner of vision about your past or your future. Something like that.
SPEAKER_10Some kind of horseshit.
SPEAKER_05Yes, yes. So you are also seeking the sword of the one true hobo king.
SPEAKER_03I've been on the quest for a very long time.
SPEAKER_05Uh, you see Picante, uh, he kind of laughs and slaps his knee, and he goes, Now you three have gone on all sorts of Adventures and you're seeking the sword too. You three are insatiable, I tell ya.
SPEAKER_10I mean, we're really kind of seeking you.
SPEAKER_03I'm seeking the sacred the hobo sword. You're seeking me? Now what do you need me for?
SPEAKER_01Oh.
SPEAKER_10Um Dude, your dad's worried about you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Mostly your dad would your dad wanted a wellness check.
SPEAKER_05You see you see the the the big dumb grin on his face just vanishes. Sure. And he just suddenly gets very serious. And goes, my father sent you.
SPEAKER_03I don't remember his exact wording, but he he did had some some uh regret over his words at your previous meeting and wanted to make sure that you weren't stuck here.
SPEAKER_05Yes, I'm su I suppose he would regret uh not stopping me. Sure, he wants you wants me to come home where it's safe. Wants me to give up this fool quest, well, I won't do it. I'm here to reclaim to claim my my birthright. And I will not rest until that sword is in my hands.
SPEAKER_10Listen, man, we're here to help you. We're not here to drag you back to daddy, okay?
SPEAKER_03We also got roped into this trial, so I guess we're also uh not going anywhere until we find the sword.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's right. I suppose that is true. Uh go ahead and give me uh quick overcome to see if you can calm him down. Social overcome.
SPEAKER_10Uh Ollie. Oh, he put several Ollie.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the Pluto no longer has that capacity.
SPEAKER_01Well let's see. I guess we'll do momentum again because this seems to be very funny.
SPEAKER_05Keep the momentum of the bit going.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. Momentum, big sister, status die. Yeah, okay, I'll do that one. Six, eight, and eight. That is uh six, two, and one. I'm uh I'm gonna would would would adding a plus two as well as the um the hero point from last time do anything?
SPEAKER_05You add a your mid is a two?
SPEAKER_01Yes, a three.
SPEAKER_05Well you can you can succeed with a major twist.
SPEAKER_01No, but I mean would would adding uh the the Adding a two would give you a minor twist. Yeah, I feel like I feel like doing the right thing would be trying to smooth things over without hurting anybody's feelings too badly.
SPEAKER_05Alright, cool. Uh what does Ollie say to Picante then?
SPEAKER_01Um keeping the momentum of the bit going. Um I think I think Ollie's is gonna be like, oh, well, okay. Look, you remember last time, right? You know that like we're not we're not here to like we're not here to make you turn back or call it a fool's errand or whatnot. We're just doing it we we came here of our own accord, because we just wanted to make sure, you know. If you didn't see it through, at least your dad know would know that you know you did all this without any regrets, right?
SPEAKER_05I suppose that is true. I trust the three of you. You three are are good friends to me. So I will I will take you I'll take you at your word that you are here to support me. But I will admit that knowing my father is involved in this in any regard has somewhat soured the experience. And Hugo goes, Yes, and being in here for the past two days has also soured the experience somewhat. We haven't been able to proceed past this point.
SPEAKER_10Wait, have you guys been stuck down here for two whole days?
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_10Oh god.
SPEAKER_05What part of the where where are you stuck? Uh and uh Pican says, Well, I'll show ya. Uh and they two of them lead the three of you down uh down the the uh maintenance hallway. Uh and you are eventually they lead you to a uh a very uh heavy metal door that has been uh bolted from the other side. Uh not really a lot of wiggle room to try to like you know pry the hinges off or anything like that. Um there's no handle on this side of the door, so they can't really push or pull on it. And uh Picante says, I assume it was some kind of trial or a mental puzzle we had to overcome, but there ain't a damn thing in this hallway for us to look at.
SPEAKER_03Pluto is wondering if they should try to put down the coffin so they can see about pushing a hole through this door.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, Rio's literally thinking the same thing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you know, you remember when you when you fought, when you you had your encounter in the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, uh Picante Slim is a an adventurer, a courageous, brave soul. He's got nothing.
SPEAKER_06He's got no super feet. No powers.
SPEAKER_05He is not he has no feats. Yeah, no, he is he is a very strong individual, don't get me wrong, but like he is he is getting by by his wits and his guile. He has no powers to speak of.
SPEAKER_10Sure. Uh well. I think Rio literally looks over at Pluto and says, Do you want to handle this or should I?
SPEAKER_03I can try something, see if I can put this down somewhere.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Uh Pluto goes to find a place to put the coffin down gently. Uh as you set it down.
SPEAKER_10Oh no.
SPEAKER_05The coffin glows.
SPEAKER_10Oh, no.
SPEAKER_05The door glows. And you hear a bunch of locks unlocking from the other side. Like a dozen locks, like unbolting, clicking, uh, combinations being entered, all that stuff. There's a ratcheting sound going on. Uh a drill sound?
SPEAKER_04Just like a whirring.
SPEAKER_03Any any of the things they did in the inter in the uh interstitial cuts for Mystery Science Theater 2000.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. At the very end, like after everything is all done, you hear somebody sawing multiple planes of wood at the same time as it opens.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Uh and the door swings open.
SPEAKER_10Ryo looks over at Pluto and says, I'm a genius.
SPEAKER_05Hugo and Picante look at the door, dumbfounded, look at each other, and then look back at the door. And Hugo goes, Well, we could have done that.
SPEAKER_10But you didn't have a coffin, so you couldn't have done it.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I guess we're going then. Plugo picks back up the coffin. Uh, the door slammed shut. No, I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's one of those kind of puzzles.
SPEAKER_01Picante can see Ollie roll her eyes despite all of the hair covering her face. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, as you're walking in, like, like Hugo says, like, well, what were we supposed to do if we couldn't get a hold of that coffin? That doesn't. Ah, whatever. Maybe it was always destiny that you three were supposed to come here.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, maybe it's fate.
SPEAKER_05No, that's a different story.
SPEAKER_01No, we're not doing that joke. Damn it, my joke! We gotta keep going.
SPEAKER_05Um, you walk in and you are uh on another subway platform.
SPEAKER_10I'm so sick of trains! I never thought I'd say that.
SPEAKER_05This one has been converted. Uh there are sheets of metal uh forming walls, like different disparate bits of scrap metal, wrote, you know, old signs, whatnot, uh fallout junk style uh wall setup, um, you know, uh makeshift doors, platforms, elevated areas, uh converting this tunnel, uh this platform and like uh the the adjacent like a few uh couple you know bunch of yards in either direction into a castle.
SPEAKER_01No uh just that it's just like that one Japanese crime video game I play.
SPEAKER_05Um you know there's there's places where where where people would like form makeshift like bedrooms, uh uh, you know, communal living areas, uh bathing areas, everything like that. Um you bring the coffin inside, and unlike the last tunnel, this one is very well illuminated.
SPEAKER_02That's nice.
SPEAKER_05Uh it's a lot more welcoming. And you bring it you bring uh the the five of you walk in and you bring the coffin with you. Uh it's still glowing a little, Pluto. And it seems to be tugging you in a direction.
SPEAKER_03I think it wants us to go this way.
SPEAKER_10I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Do you want to go this way, King?
SPEAKER_10I don't know how I feel about following the evil glowing sarcophagus, but it's the best lead we've got.
SPEAKER_03Well, the evil glowing sarcophagus let us in, so presumably it knows where to go.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, well, it could also just be leading us somewhere unpleasant.
SPEAKER_05Well, what do we do about unpleasant things? When has a coffin ever led someone somewhere unpleasant?
SPEAKER_10I have bad news about the nature of coffins, Ben.
SPEAKER_05Well, that's the unpleasantness that's already happened when you're in the coffin.
SPEAKER_08I guess.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean that nobody nobody who goes to hell is placed in a coffin.
SPEAKER_10Uh yeah, no, I mean Rio looks back at at Hugo, Picante, and Ollie, and just kind of like shrugs, like, I mean, we might as well.
SPEAKER_05Uh Picante and Hugo also shrug. They didn't get this far. They don't know what's next.
SPEAKER_10Might as well.
SPEAKER_03Pluto's just kind of stomping forward with a coffin hoisted overhead, blowing slightly, just like whistling.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You are led to what could best be described as the throne room. Uh, the throne in this case is a lawn chair that has been propped up on like several like uh milk crates, uh, forming like a staircase up to the the throne. Sure. Uh with like a big uh picnic umbrella uh overhead. Um with like you know an open area in front of it. Uh you uh Pluto, you set the coffin down.
SPEAKER_02Do you set the coffin down?
SPEAKER_05Do you set the coffin down?
SPEAKER_03Uh I mean yeah, why not? If there's nowhere obvious, if it if it seems like it's no longer trying to pull me somewhere specific, Pluto would. It seems content where it is right now. Pluto would lay it down and just go, wow, the clan halls of the s of the Slim bloodline.
SPEAKER_05Uh the coffin, after all this time, finally starts to stir a little. And the heavy sealed lid of the sarcophagus creaks and groans, and you hear the sound of m of concrete screen of stone against stone as it pushes off. And there is uh the lid lifts up and then falls to the side with a huge clatter and it shatters on the tile floor of the uh train platform. And a decrepit gray skinned hand is uh emerges from the sarcophagus as the thing that pushed the lid off. And the one hand grips the side of the sarcophagus, another hand emerges to grip the other side, and lifts this person up. He is aged. He looks like like his skin is sallow and tightened against a very bony figure. He has a long, wispy beard, his eyes are sunken into uh his skull. He is wearing a fast food paper crown on his head that has been uh the points have been bent and faded. Um and it is covering long, thinning, wispy grey hair. And he pulls himself out of the sarcophagus and he looks to the three of you the s the five of you, and he says Well, well, well someone finally made it. Greetings, y'all. My name is Old Shoeless McGillicuddy, and I am the one true hobo king.
SPEAKER_01Saying this, Ollie casually tosses aside a large rock.
SPEAKER_03Pluto thinks like, man, Arthur should have probably brought wanted to be here for those.
SPEAKER_10Pluto feels bad all of a sudden for leaving Arthur behind. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Uh, as he steps out into the light, by the way, Ryo, you especially notice this. His son his Titan Sallow skin is covered in cracks that are illuminating with gold.
SPEAKER_10Cool. Oops.
SPEAKER_05I take it by the uh look of y'all that y'all are here to take on my challenge, is that correct?
SPEAKER_04Um, boss. I do pretty good at challenges. Y'all are y'all are after my sword, is that right?
SPEAKER_03The hobo sword.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Pluto's eye sparkle.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And now, I hate to ask this because I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I just gotta make sure. You five are all still alive, right?
SPEAKER_09Last we checked.
SPEAKER_05Apparently. By technicality. Uh Picante and Hugo also confirm that Yeah, we are alive, I'm pretty sure. Uh, and then uh Shoeless McGillicuddy goes, Good, good! And then he puts two fingers on a withered wrist. And he goes, Yep, I'm still alive too. Good. Since we're all still ali all alive, that means you can uh wield my sword. If you can claim it from me. Uh he kind of pats himself and goes, Right, right, I left it here. Uh hold on, I'm gonna go get it. Uh and he he's pretty surprised for a skeleton. Uh he walks over uh to his throne. Uh he climbs up the the Mill Carton staircase to the throne. Uh there's a duffel bag sitting on it. And he's kind of whistling to himself as he unzips it. Sure enough, he is wearing like a uh like a tattered cloak. Um, a uh what could pass as as hobo regal attire. Uh, and sure enough, no shoes.
SPEAKER_10Of course.
SPEAKER_03Just bare, ratty old feet. It would be crazy if his name was Shoulus McGut Miguel Cuddy and he was wearing like prestige easies. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Uh he's just wearing like the freshest Air Force ones you've ever seen in your life.
SPEAKER_00It's a funny joke, because if I take these off, I ain't got no feet in there.
SPEAKER_05He's he's kind of muttering to himself a little bit, and he says, uh, he's kind of explaining the situation a bit. He says, Yep, I made this place a couple decades ago, but didn't think anyone would actually bother looking for it, but you know, here we are. Uh he he kind of glances around at the three at the five view and goes, Now, y'all, you you you guys are familiar with all these uh superpowers and whatnot that are going around, right?
SPEAKER_09A little bit, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, well, you know, this place has has existed long before that. This was back when the veil was still intact. Uh, but I could see it old shoeless. He could see right through it. You see, it was the sword that did it. The sword that made me what I am, rendered me into this uh immortal god king, but you know, I didn't want to reveal that to the world, and I knew they weren't ready for for some kind of uh some kind of immortality. So I came here instead. Built this place and hoped that someone more worthy would come and claim the sword.
SPEAKER_02Yeah?
SPEAKER_03Are are you are you like are you like friends with the evil black slime that hangs around outside?
SPEAKER_04Ho ho ho ho ho ho! No, no, no, no. That's just a little trap I laid for anyone. I mean I couldn't just give this sword to anybody, right? Oh no, no, no, him and I never sees back to the Civil War era approximately.
SPEAKER_05I can't quite remember who did who came up with that idea, but it sure was a doozy, wasn't it?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, man, it kinda sucks, actually.
SPEAKER_04Well, it wouldn't be much of a trial if it was easy, now would it be, young lady?
unknownUm I guess.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, Rhea. He's got you there.
SPEAKER_02Damn it!
SPEAKER_05He he kinda turns around while he's still ruffling through his stuffle bag, he turns around to the to the five of you and he says, uh, uh good answers, by the way. Very, very good answers.
SPEAKER_02So were those your memories?
SPEAKER_04Oh, a smart one, this girl. Ain't she smart? You done figured it all out, didn't ya?
SPEAKER_10Once I saw the structure of it, it became pretty clear.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Yep, yep, well, I figured what's the best template for an immortal hobo king than the first immortal hobo king.
SPEAKER_10You know, I can't dispute it. No, absolutely not.
SPEAKER_05So I based some of these questions and trials off my own memories, and well, you know, I figured if it was good enough for me, it must be good enough for whoever comes next. I think I'm I think it worked out pretty well.
SPEAKER_06Do you know y'all are the first group to ever actually come here? I expected a lot more.
SPEAKER_05It's not an easy place to get to.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, man, it's the afterlife.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, I figured if anyone was gonna come by and pick it up, it'd be someone who could break the uh barriers between life and death, so you had to be strong enough to get that far at least, but I figured with all these uh superpowers flying around, it'd be a lot more of you.
SPEAKER_10I don't think a lot of people know the sword exists.
SPEAKER_05He kinda tilts his head and thinks a little bit. You know, I probably could have been a bit more clear about if this place existed in the first place.
SPEAKER_03That's up to me. I'm gonna be real, man. I only know about it because I heard about it from Tobacco Slim once about two years ago.
SPEAKER_06He's still kicking around!
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04Aw, I remember him when he was just a we lad.
SPEAKER_07Fucking guy.
SPEAKER_01I have just imagined like Pluto like creating a little thought bubble and in like childish crayon scribbles. Imagines normal tobacco slim on a baby body tobacco and then tobacco slim small, which is just yes, exactly, his normal head on a baby body.
SPEAKER_03Pluto is imagining a little guy tobacco slim as being like a kind of normal looking street urchin, but wearing like a rusted metal tin as though it's like a hermit craft shell.
SPEAKER_05I was I was picturing uh a Renaissance artist drawing a baby. Just in oh, those like mannerist like really long babies.
SPEAKER_10Does it just look like little men? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Inexplicable six pack on the baby Jesus.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_03Oh, baby Jesus would have had a six pack. That's true, probably. Much uh Pluto, much like Baby Jesus was born shredded.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Uh he sa he finally goes, ah, here it is, I found it! And he he uh turns around and he is wielding the one true sword at the sword of the one true Hobo King, and I cannot stress this enough. I that what it what this is just an empty cardboard tube. That's it. I knew it. It's just a really sturdy looking cardboard tube. I was expecting. About four feet long, wide enough to fit, you know, small enough to fit your hand around.
SPEAKER_01Um great Fates Day night reference.
SPEAKER_05It's it's the kind of tube that you would store, like, you know, you'd use like mail, like a poster, you know. So it's sturdy, yeah, of course. So but it's got it's even got like a mailing label sticker on one end of it.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And he says, This is it! One true sword of the one true Hobo King. Deliverance!
SPEAKER_08Ha!
unknownHa!
SPEAKER_08Yeah?
SPEAKER_05Uh great name.
SPEAKER_08For sure.
SPEAKER_05Picante and Hugo are looking at it like it's the most glorious thing they've ever seen in their lives.
SPEAKER_10Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05Uh, and he he steps down from uh from the staircase the the milk carton staircase, and he says Now, I could fight y'all one-on-one, but I don't really want to do that. I think I can take all five of you at once. And he says, then then afterwards you can decide who actually gets the sword.
SPEAKER_01That's that's fair to me.
SPEAKER_10I mean, yeah, no, I that's fine by me, for sure.
SPEAKER_05Good, good!
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I should have- I should have expected that there would be a fight, right?
SPEAKER_05Uh, he he points the sword towards you with one put towards your group with one hand, and he says, uh, oh! One more thing, I almost forgot. Uh young lady. Uh, and he looks to you, Ryo, he says, uh, you were the one who uh did this to me, is that correct?
SPEAKER_10Not intentionally, and I'm really sorry.
SPEAKER_05He nods and he goes, uh, don't worry, don't worry. I know a hero's path is full of unintentional moments. I understand completely. In fact, I do want to thank ya. Because, well.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah?
SPEAKER_05It's thanks to you. I've I haven't felt this lively in years. And uh. Well, the reason I feel so confident that I can fight all five of you is well, because now, thanks to you, I can do this. And he holds up his free hand, uh, and he has his palm upward, and then he clenches it into a fist. And the five of you feel like fifteen tons of weight have dropped onto your backs. Like gravity has been turned up a hundred times.
SPEAKER_07Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_05And the five of you just flattened to the floor.
SPEAKER_03Uh Pluto's going to attempt to resist this with their uh incredible amount of physical strike.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Go for it.
SPEAKER_03Uh, we're gonna call us an overcome. Uh I'm once again going to use my uh my uh uh overcome strength, and it's overcome with strength in a situation that requires you to be more than humanly capable. Um this is going to be with the destroyer prince, because I think Pluto is objecting to being uh uh you know to be subjected.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Subjected. Uh it's going to be with my status dice, and because it's appropriate, I'm going to use the indomitable bonus just ahead of time because it seems like the place to mark. Okay, go for it. Uh so I'm going to be rolling a 12, an eight, and twelve, with the result being plus two. Okay. So twelve, eight, twelve. Uh my max plus my min is another twelve plus two is fourteen. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Pluto, you you manage to resist it. You are still on your feet. You uh but unlike the coffin, you do feel this weight. Like you feel this oppressive force crushing you down. You just manage to stay on your feet and resist it.
SPEAKER_03Uh, I think it's like it looked like the panel is Pluto remaining upright, and then you get the full body of Pluto, and they are like ankle deep in concrete.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like your feet sink, like the the tile floor can't hold you up, and you just crack and sink through it a little bit, but but you are upright. And uh Shoeless McGillicuddy is grinning ear to ear with his uh half of his missing teeth smile.
SPEAKER_10I God, I kind of want to attempt mostly because I know we're about to end it, so I really want to use my plus one from last time too.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I'm also, in that case, keep in mind, uh, my mid was a what was my mid on that? My mid was an eight, so you get another plus three bonus from me.
SPEAKER_10Damn. Is that okay? Can I try to can I try to resist this as well then?
SPEAKER_05Go ahead. It's your spell he's using on you. You're a power.
SPEAKER_10That's actually an extremely good point. Uh, in that case, um I am going to use another principle, um, which is principle of great power, obviously. Um so this should put everybody, by the way, I we've not been making note of it, but this should give everybody three hero points from this session.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Okay. We've used a lot of principles.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Um you're gonna need them next session, and that's why I'm burning this one. Um, I'm gonna use the plus three from Pluto. I'm also gonna use the plus one I have from the last session that is extremely appropriate. I the only reason I'm using it is because I wanted to use this name. Um, it's a plus one called I've got a girl crush.
SPEAKER_05Great. I like it. I like it.
SPEAKER_10Um so we are going to use uh cosmic. So uh six, eight, ten, but use the max, like always, right? Cosmic, Witch of Eden, um status. Great, great. Um, that's a 12, so. Woo!
SPEAKER_05This is this is your own power he is using against you.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Why would you crumble against your own power?
SPEAKER_10Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05You you say this, you still feel the G forces crushing on you, but you're but you're like, no, this is mine, I can control it.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, this is my this is my ability. Like, what are you doing, man? Uh it's not happening.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Uh so the two of you but do manage to resist it. Uh the other three are uh pancaked. Yeah. Uh but but old Shoeless McGillicuddy is grinning ear to ear, and he goes, Magnificent! And he slowly starts walking towards you.
SPEAKER_10Great.
SPEAKER_05And that's where we'll end the issue.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, baby!
SPEAKER_05Spectacular. Uh you have no idea how long I've been sitting on old shoeless McGilla Cuddy, the first Tobo King.
SPEAKER_07I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_03There's a specific Dark Souls character I'm thinking of when I think about him. I just think about him, but with but with a Burger King crown. Uh-huh. Um Ben, I'm going to show you a character. Artorius. No. I'm going to show you a character. His name is Vendrick, okay? Okay. Uh he oh he looks like this.
SPEAKER_05Yep. Okay, so it's not Artorius. I was thinking of the I was thinking of this guy. I thought this was Artorius.
SPEAKER_03No, Artorius is uh he has like cool like an orbit.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, he's the cool guy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no, I but I was when I was thinking like Dark Souls, like uh a joke hobo version of this guy from Dark Souls. Right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, Dark Uh Artorius is the uh guts berserk knockoff.
SPEAKER_01That's right, okay. I I spent a good chunk of the like hearing the explanations for this, like this guy like talking about himself, and I was just like, Angus, is that you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I gotta stress Ben for the screenshot. Uh he's like 30 feet tall.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, so you just go in to face him and you watch him walking in circles around his crypt, lugging around this building-sized sword behind him.
SPEAKER_05Excellent. Yeah, it's great.
SPEAKER_10Um I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you guys. You guys have got a boss fight coming up next session. It's time to teach this old man a lesson.
SPEAKER_10Uh hey, do we get to keep our plus twos going forward?
SPEAKER_03Uh well, I use mine, so.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, what if you did if you did not spend them, the ones that you got from the trials, you can carry that to the next issue.
SPEAKER_10Okay, good. Good to know. Just making sure.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I gave you those. I gave you those knowing you'd have a boss fight the next issue.
SPEAKER_10Cool. Thank you, man.
SPEAKER_05You can keep on hold on to those, plus all the hero points that you got accumulated. Um, so yeah. Um this was uh I know it's been a while, but the next issue will be a little bit easier to go through because it's gonna be a big fight, and it's pretty easy to plan for a big fight.
SPEAKER_10Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_05Um, so yeah, I hope y'all enjoyed that. I always uh enjoy DMing.
SPEAKER_10No, that was fun. That was a blast. That was a lot of fun. I am I am absolutely excited. I'm hoping we can get back to this next week.
SPEAKER_05I will try my hardest to get done uh as soon as possible.
SPEAKER_10Yay!
SPEAKER_05Um and then we'll uh we'll wrap up volume four.
SPEAKER_10Wow.
SPEAKER_05What are we calling this issue?
SPEAKER_10Oh god.
SPEAKER_05That's a good question.
SPEAKER_10I feel like there's a lost in vivo joke we can make here.
SPEAKER_01Oh god, yeah. I my my first thought was hot damn, it's the soggy bottom boys.
SPEAKER_10Oh god. Or a train station joke of some type.
SPEAKER_01I just kept thinking about tomb juice.
SPEAKER_10Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, oh yeah, like uh coffin liquor. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, that's what I assumed the the coffin Icker. Ooh.
SPEAKER_10Ooh.
SPEAKER_03Coffin Icker is a good joke.
SPEAKER_10Not bad. That's pretty good. I vote for that.
SPEAKER_05Oh god, what do we name the last one?
SPEAKER_03I didn't.
SPEAKER_05Uh Le Spirit d'Escalier.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so this is our third issue. This is our fourth. Oh, I have Les Spirit d'Escalier for two. What was our number two? Number two is Hobo Justers go to Portland when they die. That was number one.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna pull up the sheet real quick.
SPEAKER_10Pull the sheet. I haven't been writing it down. I haven't been good. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_05Hold on, I'm gonna pull up the uh the podcast list just to make sure we're we're in the correct order. Oh, this is issue 19, so we are close to issue 20.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I have uh I have a broken keyboard. I'm bad about writing things down.
SPEAKER_05Issue 18 was La Spirit de Scalier. Uh issue 17 was going off the rails. Issue 10 was Hobo Desters go to Portland when they die.
SPEAKER_03Sure, sure, sure. So it's number two is off the rails. Yes. Or going off the rails.
SPEAKER_10Okay. Uh oh, uh we have we have to do the outro. Hey, if you're hearing this a week early, that means you paid to hear it. In which case, thank you so much. We appreciate everybody who gives us money over at patreon.com slash thegorge. Um, if you didn't pay money to hear this, that means you're hearing it a week after the Patreon, guys. We still appreciate you. We are always happy to have people listen to our silly little podcast about superheroes because it makes all of us happy and we love playing it, right? Um you know, we would probably still play it even if nobody listened because it's fun. Uh, but it makes me personally happy that people do, in fact, listen to this and care. So uh carry that forward in your heart, okay? Um we appreciate you all, we love you all. If you're not a subscriber and you want to start getting this, if you want to hear our epic battle against uh shoeless McGillicuddy, the hobo king, the eternal hobo king, um that that can be achieved at patreon.com slash the gourd. And until next time, I can't I was gonna say stay big, gay, and nerdy, but that's a different podcast.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Um I mean do that, but also like that's not our our side.
SPEAKER_10It's not our thing, no.
SPEAKER_05Um it would be stolen valor. We steal enough valor.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, exactly. Uh so we'll just see you in the next one.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, folks. Good night, everyone.
SPEAKER_10Good night.